I won my Community Care appeal to choose my own dental provider yesterday, and I'm not ashamed to say I've been cycling through tears of joy, both yesterday and today. It's not a small thing, and it's not a small story.
I haven't had any dental care in close to five years, and I haven't been able to chew on the right side of my mouth for the last three. I just managed because I didn't have any other options.
And someone might say, “Don't you get free VA dental care?”
Yes, I do. And that's just the beginning of the story.
Five years ago, I was seeing a Community Care dentist in San Antonio. He was incredible. One of the first dentists I really, truly didn't mind going to see. Going to the dentist is hard enough. It's probably the most miserable doctor's appointment anyone ever has. I don't know. I'm not a woman, so I can't speak to that. The reality is, I found a dentist who allowed me to get the care I really needed.
Then the Audie Murphy VA system built its brand-new Northwest clinic here in San Antonio with a full dental clinic. And of course they had to fill it, so they canceled most of our Community Care referrals, and I was immediately ordered back to the VA for dental care.
Obviously, I was frustrated and upset. What am I going to do? I was in the middle of treatment. I had a huge hole in one of my teeth from an unfinished root canal, and the VA didn't care.
They brought me in for an exam, identified all the stuff that needed to be done, and made an appointment for me to come back and get the work done. I came back in, and I'm sitting in the chair. The doctor strolls in and goes, “We're just doing an exam, right?”
And I'm like, “No, no. I have actual work to be done. I did an exam three weeks ago.”
He says, “Oh, well, let me look at your chart.”
That's the VA, folks. They don't even know who they're coming to see until they walk through the fucking door.
So he looks at my chart, sees the list of work I need done, and decides the simplest thing on the list is what he's going to do that day. I had to literally demand that he fill the giant hole in my tooth that I'd been filling with that nasty putty you buy at CVS. And in the most bothered way he possibly could have, he agreed.
So I got that tooth filled. None of the other work was done.
I walked out of the clinic absolutely disgusted, once again, with Veteran's Deathcare Services. I went straight to the front desk and said, “Please give me Community Care back.” They said they'd put in the consult, and of course that "amazing" dentist I'd just seen denied it.
And that was it. They'd shut down the Community Care referral program, and there were no other options. So rather than get treated like a farm animal, I just went without. I suffered through it, hoping one day maybe I'd have enough money to pay out of pocket somewhere, somehow.
Well, a few weeks ago I needed reading glasses. I needed a prescription, so I called the Community Care referral line and asked for a vision referral. It was seamless. I got it immediately. No questions asked. I went to a local eye doctor, got my prescription, picked up my glasses at the VA eyewear shop, and I was done. I never had to set foot in a VA clinic for the exam.
And I thought, shit, maybe Community Care is back and I can get my dentist back.
While I was still on the phone with them, happy and excited that I was getting this vision referral, I asked. They said, “Absolutely. We'll put in a dental referral for you.”
The conversation was amazing. I walked away thinking, I'm going to get to see my dentist again.
Two days later, I got a phone call from Maria Gomez, Dr. Miller's assistant at the Northwest clinic. I answered the phone, and she said, “Mr. Stead, yeah, your referral is denied. You need to come in and see Dr. Miller.”
I said, “Ma'am, I'm not comfortable seeing VA providers. Can you please just approve my Community Care referral?”
And then she starts to berate me for not trusting her "wonderful" Dr. Miller and goes on about how much care he gives to veterans. And I just lost it.
I said, “I don't know who the fuck you are or why you're talking to me like this. You need a lesson in manners. Have a nice day.”
And I hung up. I was absolutely fucking livid. I was ready to explode.
I called back the same Community Care line, and one of the same ladies answered. I said, “Listen, this isn't about you. I really just need to vent right now. Can you hear me out?”
She gave me the time to scream without taking it personally, and then she offered to escalate the case. I hung up the phone and thought, you know what? Why am I leaving it in her hands?
So I opened up ChatGPT and found out what steps I needed to take to file a formal request for Community Care and a formal complaint against Maria Gomez. And I did both. I sent a letter to the Audie Murphy patient advocate and the national patient advocate, and I filed a complaint with the VA White House Hotline. I didn't know you could do that.
I demanded that they review my medical records and see why I was asking for Community Care. My complete lack of trust in medical providers today 1000% stems from the experiences I've had with veterans' death care services over the last two decades.
Two days after I sent that letter, I got a call from the same Maria Gomez.
She said, “Mr. Stead, I'm letting you know your referral is approved.”
I said, “Is that all?”
She said, “Yes.”
I said, “Thank you. Goodbye.”
And I hung up the phone.
Some victories don't come when you want them, and they'll never come if you don't keep fighting for them.
The last few years have been a dark place for me. I've had a lot of conflict in my family and my heart that's been really challenging for me to get through, and I'm thankful that I feel like it is possible to win sometimes.
So I'm probably going to sit here in my backyard and cry a little bit more and celebrate while I argue with my rooster.
After five years, I'm actually going to get to see a provider I trust.
Some of you take that choice for granted, "for those that have borne the battle" were just a number on a spreadsheet of wins and losses. today I won, tomorrow I might lose, and I'll never give up the fight.
If you're struggling with your healthcare I can show you how to prove it. Reach out, I'm just over here collecting eggs. 🙏🙏🙏