I've had a service dog for five years. His name is Rocky, and he's a German Shepherd/Belgian Malinois mix. I got him when he was about eight weeks old, and before he was even six months old, he'd completed a certified service dog training program and was nationally registered as a trained service dog.
He's a good dog. A good companion, a good partner, an amazing service dog, and a protector. All of those things.
And because I demonstrated a need for a service dog, I now have what some people consider the "privilege" of taking Rocky almost anywhere I want. The grocery store, the mall, a restaurant, even the courthouse.
My question is, is having a service dog ACTUALLY a privilege.
In some ways, it is.
Rocky is a big, imposing dog. He's incredibly aware of his surroundings, and people don't miss him when we're walking together. I feel pretty fucking secure with him by my side. People are a lot less likely to fuck with me when Rocky's around, and I absolutely appreciate that.
He provides a valuable, measurable level of security, stability, and support in my life. When we're home playing ball in the yard, or he's lying up against me helping me regulate my nervous system, there's an enormous benefit in having him.
And when I don't have him, I feel naked. Like I've left a piece of my armor behind.
So yes, there's some measure of privilege in having a service dog.
AND, What people don't seem to understand is that sometimes that privilege comes with an enormous burden.
Because having a service dog isn't simply a matter of taking your dog wherever you want to go.
Everywhere I go with Rocky, I'm thinking about him. His needs, his environment, his safety, his reactions, and the behavior of everyone around us. I can't just walk into a store or down a hiking trail without considering how the environment might affect him and how other people might behave.
And unfortunately, other people are often the biggest problem.
I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a grocery store or a mall and encountered somebody with an untrained dog they're claiming is a “service animal.” Some little Chihuahua riding around in a Walmart shopping cart, barking at everything that moves, or some aggressive dog pulling its owner around because nobody ever bothered to train it.
And somehow, that's supposed to be the same thing as me walking into a store with Rocky?
It's not.
Rocky understands his job. When he's wearing his vest, he's working. He's focused, attentive, and responsive to my commands. People regularly stop me in stores to tell me what a beautiful dog he is or how well behaved he is.
And I always find that a little funny.
Because what they're really noticing is the behavior that should be expected from a properly trained service dog. They're treating it like something extraordinary when it should be the standard.
About six to nine months ago, I was shopping at my local HEB with Rocky when we encountered a couple with an extremely aggressive bulldog.
This dog kept trying to charge at us.
I'm standing there with Rocky, trying to shop, and this fucking dog keeps coming at us. I'm getting increasingly frustrated because I know what Rocky is capable of. He's a German Shepherd and Belgian Malinois. He understands that his vest means business, and when that vest comes off, he's a very different dog.
He's still obedient. He'll listen to me whether he's wearing his vest or not. And still, without my intervention, he's absolutely capable of defending himself.
So I'm standing in HEB thinking, what the fuck is going on here?
And here's where the situation became absolutely ridiculous.
Rather than approach the couple and tell them their aggressive dog needed to leave the store, HEB took two employees away from whatever they were doing and assigned them to escort this couple around the store like a fucking secret service detail.
One employee walked in front of them, and another walked behind them, apparently to make sure their aggressive dog didn't encounter Rocky again.
Think about that for a minute.
They recognized that the dog was a problem. They recognized that there was a potential safety issue. And rather than remove the problem, they pull two employees off their ACTUAL jobs and assigned them to “manage” someone else's problem.
What about the next person who walked into the store with a service dog? What about everyone else shopping there?
There are rules that allow businesses to remove service animals that are out of control and whose handlers aren't taking effective action. Even legitimate service dogs are subject to behavioral expectations.
Yet here we were, with two employees essentially providing private security for an aggressive dog rather than addressing the problem.
And I'm the one standing there with a trained service dog, wondering whether I should have brought him into the store in the first place.
That's the fucking burden.
And it doesn't stop when we leave the grocery store.
My son and I hike regularly, and Rocky comes with us. Most of the time, we walk through the woods, away from the paved walking paths, and we rarely have problems.
Rocky is incredibly well trained. I have four ways of controlling him: my voice, hand commands, his e-collar, and a physical leash. He responds to all four.
When we're hiking off leash and he sees someone approaching, he'll stop, look back at me, and wait for direction. Usually, I call him back to heel, and we move farther into the woods, giving the approaching person a good 20 or 30 foot berth so they can continue walking without interruption.
I don't wait for a problem to happen. I actively avoid creating one.
And yet, when we get back onto the paved walking paths, where my son enjoys walking, that's usually where the problems begin.
Cyclists barreling down the path, ignoring signs telling them to yield to pedestrians. People walking aggressive, untrained dogs that are barking, growling, and pulling desperately to get at Rocky.
I've had encounters with dogs so aggressive that I've genuinely worried about what I might have to do if one broke loose.
And people seem to think that because their dog is attached to a leash, everything is fine.
Really?
What happens when you trip over a rock? What happens when you lose your grip? How long can you hold that leash when your dog is determined to attack something?
A little training. A little self-awareness. A little fucking personal accountability.
That's all I'm asking.
I even carry a walking stick when we hike, and when we're on the paved path, I lay it across my fanny pack so it extends about a foot beyond where Rocky walks. I make sure we're occupying no more than the right half of the path. The stick simply creates a little extra space so passing cyclists don't get too close to him.
And people still complain.
I've had cyclists stop 30 feet farther up the path after successfully passing us just to yell about the stick.
And I'm thinking, you literally just passed me. What the fuck are you complaining about?
The stick is there so you don't hit me, a disabled pedestrian, or my service dog.
All of these little encounters add up.
I find myself making conscious decisions about where to walk, when to move aside, whether to take Rocky into a store, and sometimes whether to bring him at all.
And that's where this supposed privilege becomes especially complicated.
Because there are plenty of activities where having Rocky with me actually limits what I can do.
Taking my son to a water park, for example, his favorite activity.
Sure, I can bring Rocky into many public places. And what am I supposed to do with him while my son wants to ride the water slides?
Sit outside every ride and watch my son have fun?
What about roller coasters? What about swimming at the neighborhood pool?
People talk about service dogs providing accessibility, and they do. Yet there's a difference between having access to a place and being able to participate in the activities happening there.
A service dog might help you access a facility, and having that dog with you doesn't necessarily mean you can enjoy everything the facility offers. More often it means you get watch everyone else do things you can’t. What a privilege. 🤣
In some cases, having a service dog can restrict your participation more than it expands it.
So I make a choice.
I leave Rocky at home so I can spend some days enjoying activities with my son.
And then I spend that day feeling like I'm missing something. Like I've left behind a level of protection and security that I've come to depend on.
That's not a small thing.
I love my dog. I take care of his nutrition, his health, his training, and his exercise. We go on daily hikes and runs. We play ball in the yard. I spend an enormous amount of time making sure he's healthy, happy, and capable of doing the job I depend on him to do.
He's not a fashion accessory. He's not a status symbol. He's not something I drag around because I don't feel like leaving him at home.
He's my service dog. He's family.
And I genuinely need him.
Yet there are times when I choose not to bring him because I know the inconvenience, the potential confrontations, or the limitations on what I can do will outweigh the benefit of having him there.
And that decision isn't always easy.
I know how much Rocky helps me. I know how secure I feel when he's beside me. I know the stability and comfort he provides.
And I also know that sometimes, if I want to enjoy an ordinary activity without constantly worrying about everyone and everything around us, I have to leave him behind.
So when people talk about how privileged I am to take my dog into a restaurant, a courthouse, or a grocery store, I wonder whether they've ever really considered what that privilege means.
Because from where I'm standing, having a service dog isn't simply about where you're allowed to go.
It's about everything you have to consider once you get there.
It's about constantly balancing your own needs against the needs of your dog, the behavior of other people, and the activities you want to participate in.
And sometimes it's about choosing between feeling safe and secure or simply enjoying a day with your son.
I wouldn't trade Rocky for anything.
And I wish people understood that having the right to bring him somewhere doesn't mean bringing him makes everything easier.
Sometimes it makes everything harder.
Please explain to me how that's a privilege. While you swallow your false sense of entitlement whole. 🙏🙏🙏